The Christian Home, Part 2

Introduction

The Christian Home continues as roles slightly change, for the husband and wife, when children are brought into the fold. God has some specific things to say to both the children and the parents in verses 20 and 21. Although Paul addresses the children first, for the sake of this article, we’ll address the adults first.

The Role of Parents

Paul writes, Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21) He also wrote, And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4) This is not to exclude the mothers but, since the fathers are the head of the household, the focus is on him.

Going back to Col. 3, the KJV adds the phrase ‘to anger’ in conjunction with provoke. In other words, fathers are not to use their role as household head to rule with an iron fist and overplay the command to discipline. That is synonymous with what he wrote to the church in Ephesus.

As Paul writes to ‘bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord,’ I’m reminded of Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Keep in mind that this is not a guarantee; everyone has freewill and can think for themselves. However, if you start young enough, you can instill in them the desire to live a godly life and hope that as they grow and mature, they will continue on that path.

The Role of Children

The apostle Paul writes, Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. (Colossians 3:20) He also wrote, to the church in Ephesus, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3 NKJV) Proverbs adds, Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old. (Proverbs 23:22)

The idea of respecting one’s parents seems lost on the current generation of children. With the amount of arguing, explicit language, and disobedience that these young people give to their parents, it’s no wonder how bleak the future looks in our society. If they don’t respect their parents now, they won’t respect teachers, bosses, and each other as they become adults.

Children would do well to remember that God is also their Father and he is a very strict parent. As Solomon wrote, Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, Before the difficult days come, And the years draw near when you say, “I have no pleasure in them” (Ecclesiastes 12:1) Becoming a Christian in your younger days is far easier than later in life. You can build your faith with a more solid foundation and be able to set your life in order as you become an adult.

Jesus, Our Example

Although Jesus was never a parent, as a child though, He set an example as did His parents. In Luke 2 we see this scene, His parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. And when He was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem according to the custom of the feast. When they had finished the days, as they returned, the Boy Jesus lingered behind in Jerusalem. And Joseph and His mother did not know it; but supposing Him to have been in the company, they went a day’s journey, and sought Him among their relatives and acquaintances. So when they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem, seeking Him. (Luke 2:41-45)

Here we see that Jesus’ parents were distraught not knowing where he was that they went looking for him. Most parents, today, have the attitude of, “when he gets hungry, cold, or tired, he’ll come home.” No, they had a great concern for him and went looking right away.

After three days of looking, they discovered him in the temple with the teachers; listening and asking questions (vs. 46-47). Here’s the end result of the scene, So when they saw Him, they were amazed; and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously.” And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them. Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart. (Luke 2:48-51) His mother, Mary, reprimanded him for not staying with the company when they had left Jerusalem almost a week ago. Even though Jesus is the Son of God, he was still a child and to be submissive to his parents.

The scene also showed that he didn’t simply wander away in a mischievous fashion but, rather, for a higher purpose in teaching and learning. He explained this to his parents though they didn’t understand at the time. This showed Jesus’ purpose of being on earth and what he set out to do.

As a pre-teen, he was asserting his independence but his response to his mother was not in a rebuking fashion. He wasn’t backtalking to his mother with his statement but to show them why he was here in the first place.

In verse 51, it shows that he returned to with them to Nazareth, being subject to them. Even though he was showing independence, he also knew that he was still their son and they, his parents. He obediently returned home with the family.

When the Roles are Reversed

Here in the 21^st century, it appears that the children are running the household and telling their parents what’s right and wrong. Mainly, its due to the lack of discipline in the household as parents are fearful of making their children despise them or a fear of mental and emotional scarring as they get older. Not only that but also a fear of being report for child abuse by a prying neighbor or the child themselves.

Parents would rather be their child’s ‘buddy’ and show more leniency in the household. But behavior like this give the children the controlling factor and allows them to come and go as they wish.

You’ll see this kind of behavior continue into adulthood as Paul writes, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, (Romans 1:30) and again, For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy (2 Timothy 3:2).

Conclusion

If children and parents get into the role that they are assigned by God, and stay in it, it will be well-pleasing to the Lord and to the family unit as well. As the old adage states, the family that prays together stays together.