The Christian Home, Part 1

Introduction

The Christian Home begins with the Husband-Wife dynamic. Going all the way back to the Garden of Eden. Moses writes, And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” …And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:18, 23-24)

However, here in the 21^st Century, women seem to take on a more dominant role stating that the bible is outdated. You’ll see the woman as the family “head” in some households. Not necessarily the main breadwinner, but since she runs the household, they conclude that they are in charge.

But is that what God had planned for the Christian Home? Should it be updated and made “more modern”? The bible gives us the blueprint for the homelife of Christians.

The Woman’s Role

In Col. 3:18, the apostle Paul writes, Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Right away, women cringe at this idea as they state that they, “will not be a slave to their husbands”. And they’re absolutely correct! However, it doesn’t say slave.

Paul also writes, Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). Here, it shows, that submission to your own husband is submission to the Lord. In other words, if you’re not doing one, you’re not doing the other.

Simply put, the man that a woman married is now their partner and, him only, should they serve. You don’t respond to other husbands, just your own.

The apostle Peter puts it this way, Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives (1 Peter 3:1). If the wife is a Christian, but the husband is not, she can convert him based on her conduct and the following of God’s word. She can show him the error of his way based on her day-to-day living as a godly individual.

And yes, that does mean she has to follow his lead still, but as long as it’s according to God’s Law. Just because the husband is not a believer, and doesn’t go to worship, it doesn’t excuse the believing wife from not attending services also. She should continue to do so even taking the children with.

The Man’s Role

The apostle Paul writes, Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. (Colossians 3:19) Here, Paul shows, equal footing for the husband. He cannot love his wife if he is trying to dominate her. This is why Paul told them not to be bitter towards them. A man does not marry a woman to have a full-time servant but, rather, a lifetime partner to be supportive of one another.

Paul also writes, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:25, 28). Once again, Paul connects the marriage to the church. Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, so husbands should do for their own wives.

Peter writes, Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). I’m sure there are many women out there who cringe at the phrase, “weaker vessel”. This is why so many become alpha females to prove God wrong!

The idea of “weaker vessel” is one of great value. Go into any museum and view any vases on display. Are they accessible to hands? Are they placed off to the side in a corner? No! They are placed on a pedestal and protected to prevent damage. This is the role of the man to protect his wife from outside forces. This is not to say that a woman can’t protect, or defend, herself. Again, it’s about the idea of “two heads are better than one” (Gen. 2:18)

Conclusion

Although each has a separate role, Paul did write a role for both as stated in Eph. 5:21, submitting to one another in the fear of God. Submission goes both ways and it is to prove that this man and this woman are joined together as God would have them (Gen. 2:24; Mt. 19:5; Eph. 5:31).

Get into the role you were assigned by God and stay there. The Christian Home was designed by God and if you attempt a different role, you’ll upset the balance of that which God had made from the beginning.